The things I have gone through in the last month have rocked my life. I won’t ever be the same person I was a month ago. That day that I was taken to hospital in an ambulance when I could barely breath from the pain, I literally thought that moment could be my last on this planet. Two things I can tell you about what I knew. One – I didn’t want my kids to see me like I was. I wanted them to remember me smiling, full of hope, and not in pain, so I said goodbye to them as a wonderful friend picked them up almost immediately. With everything in me I kissed them and hugged them, told them I was going to be OK and to just keep believing and thanking God for my healing. I have never seen such brave courageous faces on my children. It is a memory that still brings me to tears. The second thing I knew – I have never felt such peace inside of me. I knew everything was going to be OK, whether I stayed around or not. The only way I can describe it is this – that day I came face to face with my faith. I’ve been a “believer” in Jesus for sometime now. I don’t even call myself a “Christian” anymore because of so much of what that brings in most people’s minds. People ask me “are you a Christian” and I now say ” well you tell me what you think one is, and I’ll tell you if I am one “. I stole that line from a very brilliant author William P. Young who wrote the controversial book The Shack. I am not a preacher, I just try with all my heart to live the truth of what I know to be real. God doesn’t need defending, but boy do I love to share about the abundant life I get to live because of WHOSE I am in HIM. No one could without a doubt convince me that God is not real, and I know everyone could live the incredible life I get to because of it. That I will share with the world.
To this day, I’m still in tests, having to go back an forth to and from the doctors, and whenever there’s a ounce of fear that tries to creep in I take a look around at the life, the friends, the career, and most of all the family I’ve been given, and I remember that my heart and life is so full of LOVE that there is no room for fear. It’s made me stronger, it’s made me slow down and enjoy my world, take time for friends and the people that I love, and most of all, it’s made me not want to waste any time – or for that matter – not allow myself to have others waste my time. Being purposeful in everything I do seems even more important, and now more than ever, I am learning all over again to really truly LIVE!