So, at noon, thursday, I go for my stomach scope. I’m a little nervous I have to say, but I’m eager to figure out what it wrong with me. Your thoughts and prayers would be much appreciated as I continue this journey to my wellness.
Though it has been a tough six months, and some days I’m confined to bed, but I have to say that one thing it has taught me is to Live Well. It’s strange not knowing what life is going to carry the next day. For me, I’m used to working like crazy, getting things done, and celebrating our people ( It’s true – blessed to say in the last year alone we’ve seen Emmy nominations, Leo award wins, Miss World Canada, Miss Universe Canada, and Mr World Canada crownings, music award wins and more nominations ). Not that those things define us, but it really is great to celebrate the dreams of our friends and clients. I’ve loved that. But, in the last few weeks, I’ve literally just had to take one day at a time. Its weird. Actually it’s kind of liberating. It makes me take each moment and be grateful for it. It’s made me really understand what’s important. I’ve been present with my family and my friends, and I’ve taken my time understanding what I love. Although I couldn’t do as much “work” as I’d like, I’ve seen God provide for our family, and I’ve loved seeing my family shine, even when I felt I couldn’t. They light up on set filming, on the baseball fields, on the beach, when we are with friends. I am one proud wife and mother.
I also feel like I got my voice back. One of my friends who is a very successful musician and writer once said to me that he “lost his words” for a period of time where he was going through struggle in his life. I didn’t understand what he meant fully, until this season of my sickness. I realized that for the last few years, I think I had “lost my voice”. Not in the sense that I didn’t have one, but that I had just lost what I once had. So much happened in my music career, and amongst the success was a lot of brokenness and hurt. I stayed positive in the midst of it, and I learned to help others find their voices, and champion their dreams, which I also love. But in this season I’m in now, I’ve found my own voice again, and I’m more excited than ever to share it.
My joy has been performing again. I’ve had the privilege of sitting at a grand piano and I get to show the world some of my story. It’s been strength for me these past few months, and I look forward to it more. I’m learning to be the leading lady in my own show again.
That’s it I guess for now. I have a show on Oxford hill in Whiterock on August 17th. It’s outdoor, and free, and it’s going to be awesome if you’d like to join me! I’d love to see you there 🙂
(photo credit Ruby Huang at Vancity Dream 2013)