I’m sitting on my couch with my middle son Jaedon in my arms. He had just had a bit of a traumatic moment ( for him anyway ) as he accidentally slammed his fingers in the door. He’s a tough kid. I mean tough. The kid was born with huge muscles and he’s thick like a body builder. This kid in his first gymnastics lesson was doing back flips and front flips and no one knew how lol.
But, I decided that for the next 5 minutes, we were just going to hug. He just needed a hug. Not a bandage, or the ER, or anything else, but a big hug and a kiss from his Mom.
It was in this moment, that for me, in my journey, I realized that my kids need more of me, not less. I tend to think that as my kids get older, it is my job to let them be more “independent”. Absolutely there is truth to that, but that doesn’t mean be entirely independent of the relationships with our family. As the kids grow, I enjoy giving them a bit of freedom physically and emotionally, but I know that I’m fully responsible for them, and I believe that they can be kids that will love God, value themselves, love others, and maybe change the world around them because of those things. ( They are already changing their worlds, and I’m blessed to see them live with energy and ambition! ) I read an article that spoke to me this week. If you’d like read it here.
Of course, my journey isn’t for every body, but what I’m finding is a few tidbits to keep me going on the path of figuring out how I parent through every ever changing season of my kids lives. We are also young parents – which was our choice, but it just means we navigate differently and in many ways, have to trust more. It however doesn’t mean we give up on ourselves, our dreams, or our dreams for our kids. On the contrary, it makes it exciting that our kids get to do the journey, so they too can experience the real life truth that anything is really possible.
Here’s a quick shortlist of ideas I’ve been realizing:
1. More hugs and kisses, and less dismissing for the busy-ness of housework, or some other chore.
2. More reading aloud together – even when they are more than capable of reading themselves. They WANT me to read. And it’s become kind of fun, because I read to them in an English accent! They started that because they knew I grew up in England and I never speak British, so we’ve made British storytelling time lol.
3. Spend our money on less stuff, and more on family adventures.
4. Sing them to sleep. They’re the best audience I’ll ever have.
5. Relax more, and play with them. When they get older, the play will look different, but won’t be less.
6. Less tv time and computer time, and more playing tag in the house and building forts.
7. Family movie night can totally now include working on a movie set all together on the same night, and getting paid for it.
8. When we’ve believed and trusted God, we found that we could carve out the life we want no matter how difficult or impossible it feels at times.
9. God hasn’t called us to things we “hate” for the sake of provision or money. He has given us the choice to ask for the life we wanted to live, and we’ve had to make the choice whether we want to trust ourselves, our abilities, our connections, even others opinions of us, or just trust HIM for the provision.
10. One day, sooner than I think, my kids will be grown and I’ll have a whole life still ahead of me, so I’m treasuring the moments I have with them now more than anything in the world.
11. Facebook sucks, but I’ll continue to post my adventures, because maybe someone is waiting on the other side of my post to be inspired to live the life they have also dreamed.
12. Thank you for reading. xo – Marika
Picture credit: Christopher Owen. Citylights Summer Wrap party.